Love. It makes the world go round. For as long as we can go back in history, books and the media have depicted love as a fairy tale romance. So, we all have idyllic images of love in our heads, and most of us want to find the person we can have our happily ever after with.
However, life and love is never as simple, and you’ll inevitably learn many hard lessons along the way. Whether you’re new to dating or have been in a relationship for a while, here are some important things to remember when it comes to love!
- You Can’t Make Someone Love You
Sure, someone can seem perfect on paper. They check all of the boxes, and it seems like you two would make a perfect couple. But, that doesn’t mean they are right for you. If there’s no connection, you can’t force true love to blossom, no matter how hard you try. Love simply doesn’t work that way.
- Surface-Level Qualities Won’t Make for A Lasting Relationship
Although physical looks, ambition, and wealth may initially draw you to someone, those things won’t bring happiness in the long run. Without respect, trust, and genuine care for one another, there is no warmth or comfort in any relationship, let alone love. These qualities are necessary if you want a strong and lasting relationship.
- Love Requires Vulnerability
Feeling vulnerable can be a little scary, especially when it comes to love. Being vulnerable means letting your guard down in order to connect in a raw and open way. It entails putting your heart on the line, even if it results in heartache. But vulnerability allows the most authentic version of yourself to shine through. After all, nobody will ever be able to accept and love a side of you that they don’t even know exists.
- Another Person Can’t Make You Happy
If you’re not happy with your life while single, a relationship will certainly not make you any happier. This is a hard pill to swallow, but happiness really is an inside job only you can undertake. It is not your partner’s responsibility to make you happy. When you love and take care of yourself and believe in your own worthiness and lovability, you become emotionally healthy allowing you to bring your best to a relationship.
- Love Isn’t Enough to Make a Relationship Work
This may sound like a real bummer, but it’s true. Love is not all you need to have a happy relationship. You can love someone deeply, but if they are not good for you, the relationship will not work. For instance, if they treat you like crap or have self-destructive habits, you won’t thrive in the relationship, no matter how much you love them. It’s easy to think that if you just have love, the other troubles in your relationship will ultimately work themselves out. But some issues just can’t be solved, regardless of how much love you have.
- When You Love Someone, You Don’t Seek to Change Them
Love is about appreciating one another’s good qualities and accepting each other’s flaws. You should both feel comfortable in your relationship. If your partner makes you feel uncomfortable to the point that you want them to change who they are, you’re probably with the wrong person. You can only change yourself; you cannot change someone else.
- People Fall Out of love
As we mature and change, it is natural for our feelings to shift. Spending time with your partner will help you to grow together. You may take different paths at times, but your final destination is the same. However, you can also grow apart. This is when love begins to fade, physical intimacy is lost, and relationship issues emerge. The bad slowly starts to outweigh the good, and the gaps between you widen. And while, in some cases, it may be possible to rekindle your love for your partner, other times, it’s best to just go your separate ways.
- Timing Does Matter
You can experience a deep connection with someone, have amazing chemistry, and feel like it’s meant to be, but if the timing isn’t right, it likely won’t work out. For example, if one of you is on a rebound, relocating to a new city, or isn’t looking for a long-term relationship, it might be really difficult to make things work. Now, this doesn’t mean that your connection can’t turn into something later on, or that you can’t make a long-distance relationship work. But if your timing is off, you may face additional challenges.
- Every Relationship Has Value, No Matter the Length
When you break up or get dumped, it might feel like you wasted months or even years of your life on someone who wasn’t even worth it. But that’s not necessarily true. Surely, there were some happy moments and, at the very least, some valuable lessons you took away from the experience. Remember, some people are only meant to be in your life for a short period, not forever.
- You’re Better Off Alone Than Just Settling for Anyone
So many people stay in a relationship that isn’t right for them because they don’t want to be alone. But being in a relationship doesn’t magically make your loneliness go away. Settling for someone just for the sake of being in a relationship is not fair to either of you. You’re telling yourself that you don’t deserve anything better, and you’re only blocking each other’s way to meet someone else. Love is a fascinating thing to behold. It is profoundly social and cultural, yet it can be challenging to pin down and get right.
Whether you can directly relate to some of these love lessons or just found listening to them enlightening, hopefully, you got something valuable from this article. Now it’s your turn!
What’s the biggest lesson you’ve learned about love so far? Share your thoughts and comments below!
credit: brainy dose
