Today, we are going to learn about 10 struggles only guys will understand. Now, let’s begin.
- Emotional Distractions
Have you ever asked someone to leave you alone? Did they? Or did they insist on talking through your problems? When a man asks to be left alone, it is not a cry for help. People assume we’re just trying to get attention. But when he asks to be left alone… he really wants to be alone.
Many men don’t solve problems out loud. That doesn’t mean they’re emotionally stunted or suppressing their feelings. Men prefer to work through their problems in a different way. Instead of talking at length about their feelings, he may distract himself with work or a personal project. He may find ways to occupy his mind while he thinks and processes his feelings.
If a man asks to be left alone, he wants to deal with his problems independently. When he’s ready to talk about what he’s feeling, he’ll say so; but until then, give him some space.
- Prioritizing Respect
If there’s one thing every man wants, it’s respect. He wants to be valued by his family, his friends, and his partner. He wants to be respected in the workplace. He wants to leave behind a legacy, and he wants others to remember him as intelligent, capable, and reliable.
That’s why many men define themselves by their accomplishments. They invest huge portions of their time into their careers. They become consumed by their ambitions, and their titles often define their character. For many men, an identity and a career are one and the same.
The career you choose is often where you leave your legacy. The work you do is representative of who you are as an individual. Because men care so deeply about their accomplishments, many men put immense pressure on themselves to succeed. They hold themselves to impossible standards and expect to achieve greatness all on their own.
Unfortunately, these expectations don’t always foster a strong work ethic or healthy motivations. In some cases, impossible standards can trigger negative emotions, like laziness, fear, and dissatisfaction. Because men demand so much from themselves, they become angry and sad when they can’t live up to their own expectations.
- Personal Space
Men need space to explore and embrace their masculinity. While men have a wide variety of hobbies and interests, every guy needs a room where he can enjoy the hobbies or projects that define who he is. This is very common for men in long-term relationships.
Once you’re living with a partner, many men take a back seat in the spaces they occupy. He may compromise many of his interests and preferences so that his partner can have a space that is refined or presentable. For example, traditionally masculine hobbies may not be represented throughout someone’s home, even though it’s their personal living space. Instead, their hobbies are reserved for a den, a garage, or a “man-cave.”
Even if you don’t have a private space in your home, you may find other ways to establish personal space. You may spend time with a group of male friends. Around your friends, you can let loose and take a breather from your partner. You don’t have to worry as much about the things you say or the way you look. This sounds like an unhealthy dynamic, but it’s great for everyone in relationships to spend time away from their partners.
Just because a man enjoys his personal space, doesn’t mean he likes his partner any less.
- Expressive Wrestling
Sometimes the best way to bond with someone… is a little physical competition. Many women don’t understand why men enjoy fighting, roughhousing, and other kinds of physical recreation. We are not saying women dislike sports or physical games.
There are plenty of accomplished female athletes. But roughhousing remains one of the most common ways men bond with each other. You can say the same thing for pets, especially dogs. Many men wrestle with their dogs. Even if it’s loud and dangerous, it’s a great way for men to express physical affection.
Not only is it fun and active, but it allows men to engage with each other, and their pets, in uniquely intimate ways. While most men don’t think about intimacy when they’re roughhousing, that’s ultimately the reason why they do it. They’re not wrestling to hurt each other or prove their strength.
Just like giving someone a hug, wrestling is one way that men communicate their affection.
- Attraction to Stress
Why do men chase careers and challenges that make them outwardly miserable? Just like men are looking for respect, they often gauge their respect by the responsibility they carry. The more responsibility a man has, the more confidence he has in his ability to perform.
He has the courage to take risks. He can be decisive and make difficult choices because he knows that other people are counting on him. To count on someone is a huge indicator of respect. If you trust them to make a good decision, you believe in their ability. And every man wants someone to believe in them. That’s why men pursue more stress than they should.
They ask for extra responsibility. They put more pressure on themselves. And they feel more confident when they’re schedule is filled to the brim. But what happens when a man isn’t doing as much as he could?
Imagine someone says your life is easy. They say, “you don’t really work that hard,” or, “anyone could do what you do.” These sentiments make a man’s blood boil. They don’t want to live an easy, lucky life. They want to prove to others how hard they can work, because the harder they work… the more respect they earn.
- The Emotional Rock
Are you an emotional rock in someone else’s life? You may be the “consistent” or “stable” one in your family. You might be the kind of friend who always listens and never talks.
Many people assume strong men have it all figured out. People don’t pay attention to your problems because they don’t think you have any. They assume you know what you’re doing, even if you know that isn’t true. Many men are perceived as capable and reliable, and they like it that way. They want to be relied upon. They want to internalize their problems so that others can see their strength and confidence.
But sometimes the rock needs help. Sometimes, you don’t have it all figured out, and you need to rely upon someone else. But this can be a difficult decision for many men. They choose to swallow their problems, because they don’t want to appear weak or needy to their friends or partners. They want other people to count on them, so they don’t expose their vulnerabilities.
Unfortunately, that means many of their problems… are never solved. Time and again, they stuff down their problems, when all a man really needs is someone who’s willing to listen.
- Ignoring Pain
Men are notoriously reckless with their bodies. When they get hurt or feel sick, they want too long to ask for help. They insist their problems are minor or they try to fix them on their own.
Why do soo many men pretend their pain doesn’t exist? Why do men refuse to ask for help? Because it makes them look weak. Maybe not to the people in their life but to themselves. Men don’t like to admit when there is a problem they can’t handle. They want to show others how much pain they can endure.
Why? Because it proves their strength. Their durability proves that they can bear the burdens of other people. If they can grit their teeth and power through the pair, they can demonstrate how strong they can be. While this mindset makes men do stupid things, like avoid going to the doctor, there’s a method to the madness.
- Generalized Anger
Men and women both experience complicated emotions, but they don’t always express their emotions in the same way.
For example, many men refuse to express feelings they consider weak or vulnerable. They suppress weaker emotions like sadness and humiliation, and replace them with traditionally masculine emotions, like anger or avoidance.
This is especially common among men who are stoic, quiet, or insecure. They may experience an overwhelming amount of anger, but they’re not actually angry. Their anger is the product of a different emotion—maybe sadness, humiliation, neglect, or loneliness.
These men are reluctant to show weakness, so instead of crying… they shout and lash out.
- Chasing Competition
Do you make everything a competition? Men are competitive by nature. While some are more competitive than others, it’s an evolutionary advantage for males to exceed in competitions. Amongst other men, males naturally try to one-up each other.
They’re not trying to embarrass other men or compensate for some insecurity. Most of the time, men are competitive, because they like to be competitive. It’s thrilling to overcome obstacles and push your limits. You can show your strength, challenge your body, and prove how capable you are.
Many people think male competition is petty or insecure, but the truth is… competition is in his nature.
- Feats of Strength
Why do men like to arm wrestle? Why are men competitive about how much weight they can lift or how fast they can run?
Again, this is not exclusive to men, but it is more common among men than women. Men are more likely to engage in recreational feats of strength. Strength is a social and evolutionary advantage. Strong men are perceived as more attractive and reliable, which makes them more appealing to partners and friends.
But strength also plays a psychological role. It’s important for every man to feel strong. Not only does it give him courage, but it increases his confidence and self-worth. Keep in mind, strength isn’t always physical. Intellectual strength can be just as powerful as physical strength.
When a man proves his intelligence, he’s not just bragging about his brainpower. He’s trying to prove his worth… to other people and to himself.
credit: TopThink
