Today, we are going to learn about 10 obvious signs of a beta male. But before we begin who is a Beta-Male? The Beta-Male is a mediocre, cautious individual who avoids danger and confrontation. Beta males don’t have the physical presence, charisma, confidence, or success that come with being a winner in life. Now, let’s dive into the business of the day.
- Unclear Boundaries
Deep down, a beta male is searching for one thing: approval 👍. He cares about what other people think of him. He works overtime to please everyone in his social circle, because beta males rely on their environment to give them confidence and self-esteem.
It’s common for beta males to prioritize friends, co-workers, and even strangers over themselves. They’re people-pleasers, so they struggle to set boundaries and they hardly ever say no.
You may recognize a beta male going out of their way for someone they just met. But they’re not doing favours out of the goodness of their heart. At the end of the day, they’re desperate to be liked.
- Betas in Disguise
Insecure beta males get frustrated with their own personality type. They don’t want to be betas. They want to be alphas. They want to stand in the spotlight, receiving praise and attention from all the people around them.
Because many betas want to be alphas, they imitate alpha personalities. They act like someone the world should respect, admire, and envy. They emphasize their power, strength, and superiority. But that’s not what it means to be an alpha male. These characters are beta males in disguise.
Most of the time, you’re dealing with someone who’s very insecure. They’re constantly anxious about their social standing. They don’t respect themselves, and they may be questioning their own decisions. But they don’t want the world to know how much they’re struggling. They want to project an image of confidence and charisma. That’s why betas in disguise look and act like caricatures. They exaggerate alpha characteristics because they’re desperate to be respected.
- Fading in the Background
Not all beta males are arrogant and self-possessed. In fact, most beta males fade seamlessly into the background. They don’t draw attention to themselves. They avoid challenges and risks. And they are frequently overshadowed by dominant personalities.
Beta males learn early on that they don’t receive the same respect as alpha personalities. They often internalize this inferiority. Beta personalities believe alphas have something they don’t. So, every time they get an opportunity to shine… they fall apart. Their nerves get the best of them. They worry too much about what people think of them. And they try too hard to be impressive or confident.
Unfortunately, these social failures have dire repercussions. If you aren’t secure or confident, people won’t take you seriously. Many betas males struggle to leave a lasting impression on others, because few people respect what they have to say. If you know someone who fades into the background—someone who is used to getting overshadowed—you’re dealing with an insecure beta personality.
- External Envy
Envy is another quality that many betas share. Beta males struggle to assert their wants and needs. Naturally, they become jealous of the people who can.
A beta male sees an assertive, dominant, and successful man accomplishing what they cannot. He becomes envious of the attention this man is receiving, and that envy drives our beta male toward the wrong kinds of goals. Beta males frequently fixate on shallow aspirations. They chase vague ideas like money, fame, or power, believing their success will bring them respect and satisfaction. But it won’t.
Alpha personalities draw confidence from long-term, personal goals. They spend time reflecting on what they want. They have a strong sense of their beliefs and values. And because they know themselves, they can pursue the best version of themselves every day.
If you want to test whether someone has an alpha or beta personality, ask about their goals. If they’re focused and ambitious, chasing an honest vision of their future, you’re dealing with a strong and assertive person. If they’re more interested in paychecks and power trips, you’ve got yourself a beta male.
- The Friendzone
Everyone has heard about the friendzone. In the friendzone, one person wants to be friends and the other person wants to be something more. But here’s the funny thing about the friendzone. It only seems to affect one kind of guy.
That kind of guy… is the beta male. Insecure beta males are the only guys you hear complaining about the friendzone. Why?
Because they use the friendzone as an excuse for their lack of romantic success. But the root of the problem has nothing to do with friendship. The female population is not conspiring against beta males. Instead, beta males are conspiring against themselves.
They’re nice, supportive, and respectful but only because they expect something in return. They invest time and effort into someone they like, believing their hard work will yield a relationship. But it rarely does. Submissive personalities, like beta males, struggle to accept rejection. Instead of thinking, “Okay, I guess she doesn’t like me,” beta males will blame social norms, dating habits, and female biases. They’ll lash out and criticize others instead of recognizing their own failures.
Pay attention next time you hear someone complaining about the friendzone. Oftentimes, you’ve found a beta personality.
- Overusing Media
Beta personalities struggle to communicate face to face. They’re nervous, insecure, and fidgety. They try too hard to be cool. You may catch them bragging about finances and shallow achievements. But beta personalities come alive on social media. In virtual environments, they can hide behind their keyboards, 💻 typing whatever they want to whoever they want. Many beta males find confidence in anonymity, even if they’re nervous and quiet in real life.
In some cases, this is a good thing. Some beta personalities can show their true selves without the pressures of a social environment. But it’s not always positive. Many beta males dedicate too much time and too much effort to their online personalities. They want the world to see them one way, but in person, they’re someone completely different.
- Forgoing Leadership
Beta males avoid leadership roles. They’re notoriously indecisive because they worry too much about making the wrong decisions.
Unfortunately, they never develop the instincts of an assertive personality. Instead, they take the back seat. If you ask a beta male why he shies away from leadership roles, he may say something like, “it’s too much pressure,” or, “I just don’t have time.” But these are excuses he uses to avoid taking responsibility. He’s afraid of making a mistake.
Unlike alpha personalities, beta personalities measure their self-worth by their accomplishments. When they fail, they heavily criticize their own capabilities. They lose faith in themselves. They struggle to persevere through hardship, and they don’t learn from their mistakes. These are essential leadership qualities.
If you know someone who avoids leadership goals, ask them why. If they can’t give you a straight answer, you may know everything you need.
- Proximity to Alpha
Not every beta male is desperate for attention or respect. Some beta males are very confident in who they are. Even though they aren’t natural leaders or courageous socialites, they have positive traits that make their personalities unique.
The problems we’ve talked about so far exist because beta males deny their personality type. They’re ashamed of who they are, so they try to become something they’re not. It’s that feeling of inferiority and disrespect that shapes a self-destructive beta personality. But what happens when a beta personality embraces their flaws?
In the workplace, for example, you can recognize confident betas by their loyalty. Confident beta males act as partners and sidekicks to dominant personalities. They reinforce the authority of an assertive leader, and they typically benefit from this two-way relationship. While confident betas still shy away from risks, they aren’t worried about being #1. They want to step out of the spotlight.
They help assertive personalities instead of trying to become one. If you’re looking for a beta male, look at the alpha personalities you know. Most of the time, a strong alpha has a confident beta right by his side.
- Romantic Loyalty
Even though beta males struggle to attract romantic attention, confident betas can be great partners in relationships. When they are not motivated by insecurity, beta personalities are thoughtful and caring. They go out of their way to cater to their partners, and they pay close attention to their needs and moods.
If you have a beta personality, lean into your strengths. You may not attract as much attention as alpha males. But millions of beta personalities maintain happy and long-lasting relationships. Unfortunately, many others become self-critical and insecure, creating the classic “nice guy” persona.
To recognize a beta male in a relationship, look for a partner who gives more than they take. If they stay true to themselves, any beta male can build a strong relationship alongside a confident partner.
- Negative Commonality
Let’s talk about one more positive moniker of a beta personality. Beta males are much less intimidating than alpha males. They don’t make the same impression when they enter a room. They’re less confident. They’re less mysterious. But these negative qualities make beta males much more relatable as individuals.
Think of it this way. Many people admire dominant personalities for their confidence and self-esteem. But not everyone in the world is an alpha. In fact, most men have a beta personality. They’re “normal guys,” who struggle with the usual batch of hang-ups and insecurities. Yes, alphas have more success with women. Yes, they rise faster in the workplace, but beta personalities have more in common with the general population. They’re relatable and approachable, and they’re easier to understand.
In our everyday lives, it’s easier to be a beta male than an alpha male, especially if you’re confident in your beta personality. Ultimately, that’s the dealbreaker. Whether you have a beta personality or an alpha personality, don’t try to change the way you are. As a beta, it’s okay to step out of the spotlight. It’s okay to be unsure or afraid of making hard decisions. But you shouldn’t let those weaknesses define you. Because you can achieve success in your own way.
Every personality type can find personal and professional satisfaction, no matter how dominant or non-dominant you are.
credit: TopThink
