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Women Put Men to the Test in 12 Different Ways

by John Ocholi
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Today, we are going to learn about 12 ways that women test men. Now, let’s begin. A woman may use small, subtle tests to figure out how a guy really feels about her. She wants to know if he’s committed, secure, and confident, but she doesn’t want to ask him directly. Why? Because any guy might say he’s confident and committed.  

He can make promises and swear he’s in it for the long haul; but actions speak louder than words. When he has a chance to prove his priorities, what will he do? Some women create difficult situations to challenge the men in their lives. But let’s clarify something important. Women aren’t the only ones who run tests. Testing other people is a natural part of every social relationship, from professional connections to intimate partnerships. Women test men. Men test women. Friends test each other, because testing people is how we understand who someone really is. Having said that, tests aren’t always fair. They’re not accurate either, but they’re a universal feature in every relationship.  

So, let’s take a closer look. What are the 12 different ways that women put men to the test? 

  1. Sacrificing Comfort

Will you sacrifice your comfort or well-bring to make her happy? Many women are looking for a man who makes her comfort a priority. She wants someone who is willing to make sacrifices when she is in need. 

For example, let’s say you and your girlfriend are walking outside on a cold night. You’re nice and warm, but she forgot her jacket. Do you give up your jacket, even if you will be cold? If you would hold onto your jacket, you might fail this very popular test. Some women allow themselves to be uncomfortable so that you can save the day. She’s giving you the chance to set your needs aside and prioritize her well-being.

That doesn’t mean you should always sacrifice your happiness to make her more comfortable. If she’s asking you to make yourself miserable, that’s not a healthy relationship. But women need to know you’re willing to make her a priority. 

  1. Taking Action

Women want a guy who takes action. Let’s say she’s trying to open a bottle or jar. You see her struggling, so what do you do? Do you let her struggle? Or do you help her without having to be asked? 

To pass this test, pay attention to what she needs. When she’s in trouble, be the kind of guy who takes action. Open the jar. Help her reach for something on a higher shelf. Lift a heavy piece of furniture so she doesn’t have to. To be clear, you shouldn’t take action because she can’t do these things. You should take action because you want to help. You’re looking out for her, just like she’s looking out for you. If you needed her help, she would swoop in without a second thought. But she doesn’t know if you would do the same thing for her. 

Prove that you care by stepping in when she needs you. Take action, because that’s the kind of guy she’s looking for.

  1. Overcoming Your Ego 

Can you set aside your ego? Many guys get so caught up in being right; they forget how much damage they’re doing to their relationship. Some women start arguments just to see where your loyalties lie. Would you rather preserve the relationship happy? Or nurse your own ego?

Many times, women start these arguments knowing they’re wrong, pointless, or unnecessary. But she’ll keep pressing the issue. Why? Because she’s testing you. She wants to see if you can set aside your ego. If you can, you’ll pass this test with flying colours. 

  1. Keeping Your Cool

How do you handle stressful situations? Do you get angry or panic? Some women create stressful situations to see if you can keep your cool. At the end of the day, she wants someone who is level-headed and confident, even in a stressful situation. She wants to know you can control yourself, no matter how bad it gets. 

If you fly off the handle, that’s a big red flag. But, if you keep your cool and think through your actions, she’ll know that you’re someone she can trust. 

  1. Testing Your Patience

Sometimes, a woman will purposely test your patience. For example, she might show up late for a date. Or maybe she spends an extra 20 minutes getting ready. Why does she do this? Because she needs to know you’re willing to wait for her. Can you be patient, hold your tongue, and give her as much time as she needs? Or will you lose your temper?

If you get frustrated immediately, you’re going to fail this test. Don’t get angry about a few wasted minute. If she’s taking too long, relax and be patient. Your frustration isn’t doing you any favours. 

  1. Attractive Leadership

How many times have you been in this situation?  Your girlfriend says that she’s hungry. She asks you where you want to eat. You aren’t sure, so you say, “I don’t know. Where do you want to eat?”

This is not the response she’s looking for. Women often pose these to encourage you to take the lead. She doesn’t want you to ask her the same question. She wants you to take her somewhere. She wants you to make a decision; otherwise, she’d tell you where she wants to go. So, don’t answer her questions with more questions. Instead, show her that you can take the lead. Be decisive. Take her on an adventure and show her a good time. Because those are the qualities she’s looking for in a partner. 

  1. Independent Confidence

Are you confident in yourself? Some guys are confident only when they’re partners are kind and supportive. As soon as she leaves them alone, they fall apart. In other words, your confidence may depend on her support… but that’s not what she wants.

When women say they want a confident partner, they’re talking about someone who’s confident all on their own. Confidence is one of the most attractive traits a man can have. That’s why many women will try to challenge your confidence. She may criticize your appearance or ignore you when you talk.  

She may play hard to get or create emotional distance. If you get discouraged and insecure, she’ll know you’re not a confident person. But, if you stay relaxed and secure, she’ll see the kind of confidence she’s looking for. 

  1. Crossing Boundaries

A woman may also test your confidence by crossing some boundaries. For example, she might try to make you jealous by talking to another guy. Or maybe she’ll cancel at the last second to see how you react. 

In these moments, the best thing you can do is remain cool and calm. It’s easy to get freaked out or insecure. You might think she’s betraying you for someone else. But it’s important to remember this: she isn’t looking for someone to own or control her. She doesn’t want you to storm over, interrupt her conversation and cause a scene. Instead, she’s looking for someone who can stay on top of themselves—someone who remains confident, whether she’s talking to you or someone else. 

If she crosses boundaries you’re unwilling to forgive, it’s important to make that clear. But getting angry, insecure, or controlling is never the right answer. 

  1. Bridging the Gap

If you’re showing interest in a woman, she might start pulling away. Everything was going so well until suddenly… her interest disappears. Does that mean your relationship is falling apart? Or is she testing you? Women act uninterested to see if you will pick up the slack. If she creates distance, will you find fun and exciting ways to bridge the gap?

This is another way that women encourage men to take the initiative. She wants to see what you’ll come up with. She wants to know you’re confident enough to put yourself out there, even if you aren’t sure how she’s feeling. 

It doesn’t really matter what you say or do, as long as you do something. If she’s pulling away, it’s your responsibility to reignite that fire.

  1. Facing a Challenge 

Women aren’t looking for a pushover. They don’t want someone who agrees with everything they say or does everything they want. They’re looking for someone who’s strong. Someone who stands up for themselves… even if that means standing up to her.

This is another way that women test men. They’ll create challenging situations to see if you are strong enough to stand up for yourself. If you can rise to the occasion—and do it respectfully—she’ll know that you’re strong and secure in who you are. 

  1. Social Courage

Relationships are full of difficult situations. You have to step into unknown territory and cross intimate boundaries. You have to be vulnerable and take risks. So how does a woman know if you are capable of doing those things? 

She might test your courage by throwing you into the deep end. This typically happens later in the relationship, when she’s starting to get serious about you. She’ll ask you to meet her friends or her parents. She’ll encourage you to do things you’re not good at. Why?

Because she wants to see how well you can handle yourself on your own. At the end of the day, she wants someone who doesn’t need to be rescued. So, summon your courage. And don’t back down. 

  1. Unexplained Distance

Has she ever stopped returning your calls? Maybe she disappears for days on end. You get worried she’s pulling away, but is that what’s really happening?

Sometimes, women become distant to measure your reaction. If you panic and assume the relationship is falling apart, that’s a red flag. She wants you to believe in your own value. Don’t get spooked by the smallest hurdles. Instead, make an effort to reach out. If she doesn’t respond, take a step back, live your life, and, most importantly, don’t lose faith in yourself. If she’s really interested in you, she’ll come around.


credit: TopThink

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