Today, we are going to learn about 6 subtle habits to be instantly charming. Now, let’s begin
- Outward Excitement
When you meet someone for the first time, you’re wrapped up in your worries and fears. You ask yourself questions like, “What do they think of me?” “Am I saying the right things?” In other words, you turn your attention inward, but the most charming people do the opposite. This is one of the most charming qualities a person can have.
When you meet someone new, you don’t worry about how you feel. You worry about how they feel. Think about how your actions impact their emotional state. Because chances are… they’re asking themselves the same anxious questions as you are.
Why not put their mind at ease and show them that they are leaving a good impression? Charming people spread positivity to everyone they meet because they always bring positivity to the table. For example, you’re always happy to meet a charming person, because that charming person is genuinely happy to meet you. You can see the happiness in their eyes, in their smile, in the position of their body. This person is not just pretending to like you. They’re excited to make your acquaintance, and that excitement makes them more charming than most.
- Displaying Interest
Charming people don’t need to be the center of attention. In fact, many of the most charming people are reserved and introverted. They rarely talk about themselves, and they’re very private about their lives. Yet these people make incredible impressions on everyone they meet. Why? Because they make other people feel interesting.
In other words, if you want to be instantly charming, take a deeper interest in the lives of others. The truth is… people really, really enjoy talking about themselves. Everyone wants to be heard, seen, and appreciated. Everyone wants to think they’re funny, attractive, and intelligent. If you show interest in their lives, you’re creating powerful, positive emotions, like confidence and self-worth. You’re changing the way someone feels about themselves, but at the same time… you’re changing the way they feel about you.
Unconsciously, we associate positive emotions with the people who make us feel those emotions. We want to spend time with people who bring out the best in us. Those are the people we call charming and charismatic. We’re drawn to them because it feels like they are drawn to you. So, how do you create this powerful relationship? How do you make others feel good about themselves and, in turn, improve their opinion of you?
Asking thoughtful questions is a foolproof system that can deepen any connection. If you want to instantly increase your charm, stop talking about yourself, and start asking questions about other people. Give them a platform to express themselves and talk about the things they love.
Let them tell you about their lives and experiences, and use stimulating questions to communicate your curiosity. In general, asking good questions can charm almost anyone, but there are a couple things you don’t want to do. If the other person isn’t receptive to your questions, don’t interrogate them. Instead of charming, people will think you’re intrusive or rude.
In the same vein, if they seem nervous around a specific subject, reroute the conversation. Don’t press people too much on sensitive topics. In other words, use questions to keep the conversation moving, but remember that your questions are just opportunities to show interest and deepen your connection. Sometimes, they’ll work. Sometimes, they won’t. But you should keep asking, because the right questions can instantly win someone over.
- Personal Observations
Charming people can connect with everyone they meet. They find ways to solidify bonds and create lasting friendships. But every connection begins with a strong introduction. So, how do you display your charm in one short sentence?
The most charming people begin every conversation with something personal and genuine. Before meeting someone, they spend a moment thinking about things they like or appreciate about that person. Maybe it’s an item of clothing. Maybe it’s the way they carry themselves. Whatever it is, a charming person picks one positive observation, and uses that observation to get the conversation rolling. It’s almost like leading with a compliment.
Instead of introducing yourself right away, you’re telling this person what you appreciate about them. But there’s an important difference between compliments and positive observations.
When you give a compliment, you say something like, “I really like your jacket.” It’s a nice thing to say. The other person might smile and say, “thank you.” But where does the conversation go from there? Sometimes, compliments leave you hanging, creating an awkward or uncomfortable silence. Personal observations, on the other hand, propel the conversation forward. You’re not just complimenting another person; you’re also encouraging them to talk about something they like.
Begin with a compliment then immediately follow with a personal question. For example, you might say, “You’re an incredible cook. Where did you learn so many recipes?” This opening line gives people something personal to talk about. You’re not only making them smile; you’re also breaking the ice, setting the tone, and opening the door for a deeper connection.
- Human Vulnerability
In the media, many of the most charming characters seem larger than life. They’re effortlessly charming and universally charismatic. Compared to the average person, they set an impossible standard, but there’s a silver lining most people don’t see.
In real life, people aren’t looking for impossibly cool characters. Instead, they’re drawn to real humans with real human problems. So, what can you do to subtly increase your charm? Show people that you are a human being. Let your defenses drop.
Be vulnerable with the people you meet, because your most human qualities are also your most endearing. While vulnerability is key, it’s also important to be confident, even sharing your weaknesses. Don’t hide who you are, but don’t be ashamed of who you are either. Be honest. Be vulnerable. But never let your weaknesses get the best of you. If you can do that, you’ll develop a genuine, personal charm that anyone can appreciate.
- Vocalizing Friendship
Think about the many social rituals you experience every day. For example, you hear formulaic phrases like, “Hi, how are you?” and “It was nice to meet you.” You use these words and phrases to show respect toward people you don’t know. Even though you use these phrases with the best intentions, they create emotional distance between you and the people you meet.
In other words, if you treat someone like a stranger, they’re going to feel like a stranger. But, if you treat someone like a friend, they’re going to feel like a friend. This is one of the fastest ways to show people how charming you can be. Instead of walking on eggshells, charming people accelerate their personal connections. They jump ten steps ahead and treat other people like someone they already know and care about.
Have you ever heard someone say, “I just met you, but I feel like I’ve known you for a long time”? That’s the feeling charming people create. Even though you met this person five minutes ago, you feel like you’ve been friends for years. Why? Because charming people vocalize your friendship early in the conversation. They find opportunities to call you a friend or tell you that enjoy talking to you. They might say something like, “I knew the two of us were going to be friends,” or, “I think you’re my new favorite person.”
Phrases like these instantly bring you closer together. Similar to good listening skills and positive body language, you’re reinforce the positive direction of a conversation. All of these cues make other people feel comfortable and confident when you’re around. And that makes you a significantly more charming person.
So, vocalizing your new friendship. Tell the other person that you’re excited to get to know them better. Because these honest phrases move your relationship to the next level. Treat people like strangers and they’ll feel like strangers. But call them your friends… and that’s exactly what they’ll be.
- Knowing Names
The simplest way to win someone over… is to remember their name. As easy as it sounds, most people forget names seconds after they hear them. The stress of introducing yourself forces you to stop listening. Before you know it, that person’s name slips your mind, and your connection disappears.
So, if you want to instantly increase your charm, pay special attention to the names of everyone you meet. When someone introduces themselves, shake their hand, listen to their name, and ask for it twice for if you can’t remember. Because remembering someone’s name is essential for any connection. It is the single most important word for almost everyone on the planet. Commit their name to memory, and you’ve taken one huge step toward a deeper connection.
Of course, remembering someone’s name is only half the battle. You need to remember their name, but you also need to use their name in the conversation. You can make any connection more personal and comfortable by using someone’s name whenever you can. By using their name, you’re proving that you’re a good listener, but you’re also creating a stronger, more intimate bond each time their name comes out of your mouth. When someone hears their name, they feel like your attention is focused solely on them. They feel like they’re standing under your spotlight. And that’s a great feeling. Why? Because they know that someone is really listening to what they have to say.
So, don’t let anyone’s name slip your mind. It may sound simple, but remembering that one word can make all the difference.
credit: TopTink
