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Why Flaws Make Men Look More Attractive

by John Ocholi
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Imperfection is reality. So many people spend so much time in their lifetimes chasing perfection that they miss out on the incredible beauty of something that’s imperfect.

There was a guy who was a celebrity hairdresser and make-up artist. In his late teens he was so handsome he had been signed as a model in New York City for a major big name modeling agency. It didn’t take long for him to know that life as a male model, was not sustainable long term.

He grabbed the opportunity by the horns, went to beauty school, and became a world-class hairstylist, make-up savant, and photographer. Even though he was drop-dead handsome, Robert was imperfect in every way possible. Robert knew he wasn’t perfect, but had made peace with it even though he spent the bulk of his life living in Hollywood and in “the business” where perfection is demanded. As a result of his true self-knowledge, he always oozed joy about himself, life, and all the people he encountered. The more imperfect they were, the more he loved them.

When you’re been fussy about wanting something to be perfect, stand back, take a deep breath and hear Robert saying to you “true beauty is in the flaws.”

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When imperfection is perceived, the self sees the possibility of growth, and an idealized perfectionist state is projected, tailored to the individual. The attractive nature is more due to the connectedness to the level of self to the other imperfect human.

If the said person were to be quite a near perfection, relatively speaking, the self wouldn’t be able to relate and thus a being out of reach, shining its light ahead and casting the shadow behind, is seen. Nobody likes to be in the shadow. Preference is always, either to be alongside or ahead, since a blow to ego is barely considered as something that can be swallowed unless you live in a self-aware world where things are quite different. There’s also a willingness to mold the imperfection to a self-made perfection of the sort, that fills the necessary requirements of the person and becomes an entity of idealization, that serves as a source of ego supply, whether by association or just intrinsic boxes checked. Think of it as a sculptor successfully making a masterpiece of a sculpture, which begins by seeing a piece of stone that fulfills the minimum criteria but is yet unpolished like a rough diamond, and then imagines the finished sculpture, the image of which is formed in the mind.

On the other hand, imperfection is also a state of illusion in the sense that no human is perfect. If one were to be perfect, then there is no room for growth, and thus life would be too boring to tolerate. Thus, imperfection acts as a countermeasure to the stagnant perception that would be a dead end.

This imperfection can be termed, in a romantic sense, as a thread of hope, that is then reeled in completely to the point of total exposure and subsequently, the beginning of the act of sculpting. Humans are completed being in the sense of existence, biologically, even there the process of natural selection is a continuous occurrence. But potentially, humans have not even scratched the surface and are looking in from the outside of the room of all possibilities.

The room is as seductive, extravagant, alluring, and beautiful as it gets, thus being the object of attention of all, but only accessible, till an inch inside of the room, to those who already have left the mass behind in terms of potential and existing skills. We grow since we are imperfect and strive towards perfection since it is impossible to reach. And no need to worry, you’ll never reach it due to the fixed life span written off by the biological body and gene, thus only reinforcing the common aim of endeavoring towards that conceptual perfection that acts as a standard of the end goal but is practically unreachable.

But still, aiming itself is worth the effort since ambition is quite well-perceived in the eyes of humans. Things begin when you act. Starting is essential. So, the only required ingredients are – will and grit. If you have a will, you can get grit. Grit to try to aim for an impossible goal, but make immeasurable progress in the journey. Now, the only question remains: do you prefer only to see the goal or the journey towards it? Embrace imperfection and grab it with both hands, never let it go.

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