Today we are going to learn about 7 ways to become emotionally mature. Now, let’s begin.
- Withhold Judgment
Do you look down on other people? No one wants to be judgmental, but many of us are. We look down on others for things they can and can’t control. Their looks; their social standing; their interests and their hobbies. Maybe you don’t like something they do. Maybe you don’t understand their perspective or their opinions.
For whatever reason, you’ve decided this person has done something wrong. You look down on them, and you judge the person that they are. Not everyone makes the right decision or follows the right ideas. Good people make bad choices every day. That doesn’t mean they’re any less of a human being.
An emotionally mature person doesn’t look down on anyone. They don’t villainize or stereotype other people. Because everyone in the world is a person just like you. It doesn’t matter how successful or unsuccessful they are. It doesn’t matter how many good or bad decisions they’ve made. Everyone wants to be loved. Everyone wants to be respected. And it takes an emotionally mature person… to give others the compassion they deserve.
- Learn Your Limits
Are you afraid of looking stupid? Emotionally mature people are lifelong learners. They’re curious about the world around them, and they frequently ask questions. Because an emotionally mature person isn’t afraid to be wrong. They are aware of how much they don’t know. And that awareness motivates them to learn even more.
What about someone who is emotionally immature? What do they do differently? You may have met someone like this before. They never ask questions. They never admit when they are wrong. They talk about things they don’t understand and criticize anyone who questions their judgment. But their know-it-all attitude stems from their insecurity.
If they’re insecure about their intelligence or their social standing, they might be afraid of how other people perceive them. They’re afraid of being judged if they don’t know something other people do. It takes an emotionally mature person to admit when they are wrong or confused. It also takes an emotionally mature person to learn something new and expand their knowledge. Because the truth is… there’s a lot you don’t know.
You’re not the smartest person in the world. You don’t have all the answers, and you will make mistakes. The more you worry about looking stupid, the more of those mistakes you will make. So, ask questions. Tell someone when you’re confused and try your best to clarify what you don’t understand. Don’t roll your eyes when someone else tries to teach you something. Whether you like it or not, there are lots of people who know more than you do. Instead of proving them wrong why not learn the lessons they have to teach?
- Resist Your Emotions
Do your emotions control you? Do you make impulsive decisions you later regret? Many people are impulsive decision-makers. When you see something you like, you get caught up in the excitement. You feel desire. You feel envy. You dream of what it would be like to own the object in front of you. In the end, you make a bold decision without considering the consequences.
By the time the dust settles, you look back at the choice you made… and you regret not thinking things through. You’d be surprised how many people struggle with their emotions on a daily basis. They’re constantly making poor decisions, because they’re swept up in these flashes of excitement and enthusiasm.
To improve your emotional maturity, slow yourself down. Control your emotions, and when you feel a wave of excitement, force yourself to take a step back. Emotionally mature people think things through. They rarely make poor decisions, because they make their choices carefully. Before they buy something, they walk away from the situation, and they ask themselves, “is this really the right decision for me?” “Am I going to regret this purchase?” If the answer is still yes, maybe it’s the right decision for you.
But most of the time… your answer changes. You reflect on something that seemed like a good idea, and you ultimately change your mind. So, before you make any big decisions, take a breath. Walk around. Sleep on it. Give yourself time to think things through. In the heat of the moment, your emotions cloud your judgment. But once those emotions settle, you can think clearly and make the right choice for you.
- Take Responsibility
Taking responsibility is a difficult thing to do. When you make a mistake, you may pass the blame onto someone else. You want those failures to disappear. You want to get rid of all your negative emotions. So, you run away from your mistake, and you avoid responsibility.
But an emotionally mature person take responsibility for their actions, whether they’re good or bad. You take responsibility when you fail just like you take responsibility when you succeed. Because that’s what emotional maturity means. It means owning the choices you make and facing the consequences of your actions.
Once you take responsibility, you may notice a change in your attitude. Because responsibility teaches you valuable lessons. It teaches you to be humble, receptive, and forgiving. And those skills transform the way you approach obstacles in the future. The next time you make a mistake, you won’t search for someone to blame. You won’t make an excuse to avoid responsibility. You’ll accept ownership of your choices, and you’ll work harder to improve.
- Reflect on Yourself
Are you vulnerable with the people in your life? Most people keep their weaknesses locked deep within their own mind. They shove them down so deep they may not even know what their weaknesses are. Unfortunately, many people are scared to have weaknesses. They’re hesitant to acknowledge anything they can’t do or anything they don’t like about themselves.
But stuffing down your emotions is never the answer. The more you keep locked away, the less you know about yourself. You lose track of your strengths and your weaknesses. You stop seeing yourself for who you really are, and you lose touch with the emotions that guide you through life.
To build emotional maturity, reflect honestly on who you are and what you can do. If you don’t know the answer, that’s okay. Most people struggle with this very same problem for years. If you aren’t sure who you are, there will always be opportunities for you to find out. You can engage with your hobbies. You can throw yourself into new situations. You can achieve lifelong dreams and chase lofty goals. All of these experiences will create trust between you and yourself. They’ll bring to the surface the emotions you locked away in your mind. And they’ll act as building blocks for your self-esteem, confidence, and courage.
So, accept every part of yourself. That includes your strong points and your sore spots. Get in touch with the person you genuinely are, not the person you imagine yourself to be. And remember that your weaknesses do not define you, just like your strengths do not define you.
To reach emotional maturity, you have to strike a balance between your highlights and your lowlights, because everyone has both. And you’re no different.
- Understand Your Place
Are you living at the centre of your own universe? This is common among people who are emotionally immature. They don’t recognize the systems, environments, and people that affect their lives. They don’t see their biases. They can’t acknowledge their privileges. Any opinion that isn’t their own… is automatically incorrect. In short, these people aren’t willing to look outside of themselves.
However, the world is a big place full of incredibly different people. And it doesn’t revolve around anymore. An emotionally mature person recognizes just how diverse the world really is. Everyone plays a small part a huge social and biological system. Within that system, there are biases and privileges. There are things you never see, and people who never see you. In other words, your perspective is just one in 7 billion. That’s why emotionally mature people expand their horizons. They consider the perspectives of others. They think outside of themselves. They show empathy, generosity, and care for their loved ones and complete strangers.
The more diverse your perspective becomes, the better you can understand your place in our gigantic world.
- Facilitate Cooperation
Are you a lone wolf? Do you tackle every project on your own? Lone wolves are idolized by many. We envision fearless workers who change the world all on their own, but lone wolves… don’t really exist. There’s only so much you can do on your own.
You have limitations. You have blind spots. You have weaknesses where other people have strengths. In other words, if you work alone, you’re going to come up short. You’re going to fall flat on your face. Whether you like it or not, every successful person needs help. You need other people to fill the gaps in your knowledge. You need them to offer helpful perspectives and constructive criticism.
As much as we admire lone wolves, real success, whether it’s a business or a relationship, requires cooperation and teamwork. That’s why emotionally mature people are not afraid to ask for help. They do not rely on other people to do all their work for them, but they do reach out to likeminded people who compliment their strengths. They seek people with similar priorities, and together they create something better than any one person can do alone.
If you want to build your emotional maturity, find people whose strengths complement your weaknesses. Every once in a while, hand over the reins to someone you trust. Try to recognize when someone else is great at something you’re not. You may be an incredible person, but there are a lot of incredible people in the world. If you want to accomplish a goal or grow as a person, the best thing you can do… is bring others on board.
credit: TopThink
