Today we’re going to learn about how to flirt without being creepy. Now let’s begin
- Open Signals
Using open body language you can approach anyone without looking creepy or desperate. Body language is a form of non-verbal communication we send small subtle signals with our body which communicate how we’re really feeling. Alright let’s say you cross your arms over your chest, this piece of body language signifies a closed or guarded personality and that leaves a negative impression on the people you meet. Even if you seem lively and friendly, your body language changes the way people perceive you.
So what signals should you be sending? how do you use body language to make a friendly and attractive first impression? Open body language makes you look confident and friendly. It invites others to communicate with you because your body is sending positive signals.
Open body language describes the position of your arms and legs and the shape of your posture. Standing up straight with your shoulders rolled back shows engagement and self-assurance. Slouching on the other hand communicates nervousness, discomfort, and a lack of enthusiasm.
So pay attention to the shape and position of your body. That way you can use your body language to your advantage. If you open up your body language you can flirt with anyone anytime.
- The Right Questions
Here’s another easy way to flirt without making the wrong impression. When the two of you start talking, go out of your way to ask good questions about their life. This may not sound like flirting but it’s a foolproof strategy that shows interest and builds chemistry. But what defines a good question?
A good question is always open-ended an open-ended. Question encourages the other person to give a detailed answer; open-ended questions stimulate the conversation and allows the other person to talk about their life. For example you could ask what was it like growing up in your hometown or why did you decide to pursue your career? Both of these open-ended questions engage the other person you’re expressing interest in their life, but you’re also giving them the opportunity to share stories and feel heard with open-ended questions like these you can create strong connections with almost anyone.
- Attentive Engagement
If you’re going to ask good questions pay attention to the way they answer otherwise those questions are going to get you nowhere. This is a very common mistake many guys come off desperate and creepy because they bounce from one question to the next after asking one good question. They start thinking of what they’re going to say next and they stop listening to what the other person’s saying. So, instead of flirting this kind of conversation feels more like a job interview.
Don’t worry about what you’re going to say next instead concentrate on what the other person is saying right now. Listen to their stories, laugh at their jokes, absorb the information they’re telling you because your goal is to get to know this person you want to connect with them so you need to pay attention to what they’re saying now.
Of course that’s not the only reason listening is so important. If you’re not a good listener the other person will know right away. They’ll feel like you’re not paying attention to them. They’ll feel neglected and their interest in you will disappear. So communicate interest by staying engaged listen with both ears wide open and don’t worry about where the conversation will go next
- Like Conversation
No matter what you’re talking about keep the conversation light. There’s nothing creepier than a guy who over shares in the first few minutes. Flirting is not the right context to share your deepest secrets. If you need to be emotional, sit down with a friend or family member, don’t offload those feelings onto someone you just met otherwise they’re not going to stick around. So instead of dwelling on heavy subject matter, keep the conversation fun and lighthearted.
Don’t talk about past relationships, don’t voice your views on the world. Talk about things that make you both smile because that’s what makes flirting a fun experience in the end. The content of the conversation isn’t that important. You don’t have to have a life-changing interaction to make a good impression. You might talk about movies for two hours if you two have a great time that’s the most important thing because flirting is about figuring each other out. You’re learning how the other person talks, laughs, and thinks and that’s where your chemistry comes from. By keeping the conversation light, you give your chemistry a chance to shine
- Over Flirting
Flirting isn’t as complicated as people think. You don’t need any elaborate tricks and you don’t have to put on some crazy persona. Many people especially guys go overboard to get the attention of the someone they like. When they flirt, they fall over themselves and they step on their own toes. This is what we call over flirting
Overflirting is when you show too much interest right away. Overflirting scares people because you’re giving them too much too fast. It makes you look creepy and desperate for attention and that’s not the first impression you want to be making. Tone yourself down! flirting happens slowly but surely you show interest little by little. You give and you take one step at a time until the two of you begin to understand each other. It kind of sounds like a game because in a lot of ways it is
So many people try to win the game on their first move you show all your cards right away but that strategy blows up in your face. Take it slow and play your cards one by one. If you can do that you can flirt with anyone without freaking them out
- Genuine Compliments
There’s no perfect way to give someone a compliment but there are obstacles that you should avoid. Generic compliments for example are always the wrong way to go. Don’t repeat something you heard on tv or in a movie and don’t use a compliment that you’ve used dozens of times before.
If you want your compliment to mean something, you have to be honest. Tell someone what you really appreciate about them. Be genuine and that way your compliment carries emotional weight. If you lie, just to butter someone up they’ll see right through you; they’ll know you’re playing a game with them and they’ll move on to someone else even if you give a genuine compliment it can sound incredibly creepy because some subjects are off limits. For example, don’t comment on the specifics of a person’s body the first time you meet them. These compliments feel creepy and invasive. Instead keep it honest and simple – your compliments should communicate interest without going overboard
If you think she looks nice then tell her what you think. If her smile is contagious don’t be afraid to let her know. These compliments will get your foot in the door without looking like a weirdo
- Basic Confidence
Pickup lines are a really bad idea. You may think your lines are charming and funny but they’re probably not most of the time. Pickup lines are a dead giveaway that you aren’t her type. Instead of opening with some cheesy pun open with something easy and straightforward. Introduce yourself and then ask her a question that you genuinely want to know.
This basic approach communicates comfort and confidence. It shows your interest without trying too hard so get rid of those pickup lines and just be yourself
- Personal Presentation
The way you present yourself impacts everything you do. The same guy can say the same lines to the same people but a change in presentation completely transforms the impression he leaves. So if you want to improve your presentation, clean yourself up whenever in doubt. Keep yourself neat and presentable.
Your clothes for example shouldn’t be ripped, wrinkled and baggy. Your hair shouldn’t be overgrown and unkempt. To make the best of your presentation wear something nice that shows off your figure. Shave or trim your facial hair get a haircut and spend a few extra minutes on your personal hygiene. It may not seem like much but these changes have a huge impact on your presentation. Not only do you look cleaner, but you actually feel more confident and when you look like a hundred bucks, well, you act like a hundred bucks
This newfound confidence makes you more attractive and approachable so polish your presentation and leave that messy look behind you
- Respecting Boundaries
Flirting comes with its own set of unspoken rules. Unfortunately the rules change from person to person. Everyone has their own thoughts and preferences and most people don’t know what they want until it actually happens. So how do you flirt with someone without crossing any personal boundaries?
The answer is respect and a lot of patience. When you meet someone new make an effort to identify their rules and boundaries. Okay let’s look at personal space for example, humans designate different amounts of personal space to different people. They need a lot of space from strangers but they only need a little bit of space from friends and family. If you want to be respectful of someone’s personal space then give them some room to breathe. You don’t have to sit 10 feet apart but you shouldn’t make physical contact from the minute you meet
Now at this point the two of you are strangers they don’t know you and you don’t know them. If you jump inside their personal bubble it’s going to feel like an invasion of their personal space. As the two of you get more comfortable, you can start crossing those boundaries slowly but surely you’ll recognize positive signals and you’ll get closer in a way that’s comfortable for you both. Until then, be patient and take it slow
