Although there is obviously a big difference between being secretive and over-sharing, some things in life are just better kept private. And while not everybody has the ability to keep things under wraps, those who do, are typically viewed as more trustworthy and well-mannered. You see, when you blurt out your problems or someone else’s personal matters, it often makes people uncomfortable, to say the least.
Sharing too much can lead to awkwardness or envy, and it can even lead to hurt feelings. So, if you want to avoid such pitfalls, in most cases, it’s best to keep the following things private!
- Your Personal Finances
Have you ever been out and about and overheard a person telling someone else that they’re completely broke? Or perhaps the opposite, where they flaunted an inheritance they just collected? Some people have it better than others, but either way, personal finances are best kept private.
Just think about it. It’s an area we know not to ask others about. Right? So then why disclose this info yourself? Besides, if you happen to earn more than your family, friends, or co-workers, they may become resentful or worse, try to take advantage of you. Unless you’re getting married, applying for a loan, or buying a new car, your personal finances really should not be a topic of discussion.
- Details of Your Love Life
The intimate details of your romantic relationship are best kept between you and your partner. Whether you’re having the time of your life or experiencing intimate problems, it’s not a proper conversation to have with others. Recounting the specifics of your love life not only gives people a visual they didn’t ask for, but it also generates awkwardness between you and others.
Plus, it invites them to give their opinions where it’s not wanted. If anything seems out of the ordinary, it’s always best to ask your physician or a sex therapist instead of discussing your intimate details with everyone you talk to.
- Your Next Move
In some situations, being intentional and telling people what you’re doing can be a form of accountability, such as when you start a new fitness program. But it’s not always in your best interest. Whether you’re planning to leave your company for a better offer, planning to start a business, or decided to get a divorce, it’s best to keep your future plans under wraps.
If you’re in the early stages of something, keep it to yourself while things get worked out. It will help avoid unnecessary gossip as there are people who enjoy making mountains out of molehills. Let people see your life unfold without you informing them of every development. When you tell them, they might feel like it’s okay to give you opinions. And when you take too many people’s opinions, you can end up with advice that perhaps isn’t in your best interest.
- Details of Your Medical Conditions
Unless you’re discussing details with your doctor or insurance provider, it’s best to remain discreet about your health problems. Yes, there is a feeling of companionship when you meet someone with the same condition as you, and it feels good to have someone who understands the problems that come with it.
However, it’s easy to develop a victim mentality which can make you come across as though you’re looking for others to feel sorry for you. And aside from putting you in that light, it also becomes rather uncomfortable for people to hear the details of an illness or disease. Obviously, if it has a considerable impact on your day-to-day life, it’s best to share on a need-to-know basis with your employer, spouse, and family. But other than that, the details of your medical conditions are best kept private.
- Problems in Close Relationships
What might be a real problem to you could quickly become gossip for others, and you definitely don’t want to give anyone that opportunity. No relationship is perfect. We sometimes fight with our partners, have conflicts with our parents, and friendships can go through rough patches.
But you should watch who you’re venting to when you’re vulnerable because you can end up disclosing information that you probably shouldn’t. How would you feel if someone went and shared details about a relationship problem you’re going through? You would likely feel awkward, uncomfortable, and perhaps even embarrassed. So why put somebody else in that position?
- Anything Confidential
Have you ever trusted someone with a secret only for them to go and blurt it out? It’s never okay to betray a person’s trust like that. So it goes without saying that if someone specifically asks you not to share something, you shouldn’t. Even if you think it’s okay to share something with your best friend or spouse, not everything needs to be discussed. Especially when it concerns a third party and doesn’t affect either of you.
Similarly, if you signed an NDA or were told you legally cannot discuss something, you shouldn’t reveal it to anybody no matter how close they are to you. By doing so, you put all concerned parties in an uncomfortable position, and in some cases, in a messy situation. And there’s no going back after that. So if you’ve made a promise to keep something confidential, do it!
- Personal Therapy Sessions
More and more people discuss or post on social media about advice given by therapists. This certainly signals a shift in our perception of mental health. We’re more open and honest about seeking help, and conversations around depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues have become more optimistic. That said, therapy is something incredibly private. It requires you to dig deep within yourself to find hard truths and the root of your problems, and there’s really no need to disclose your most personal issues to everyone.
Sometimes, you might bring up a topic that’s triggering to someone. Other times, you might burden them with your problems when they have their own issues. Besides, doing so is not only impolite, it also comes across as selfish. While it’s nice to have supportive people in your life who understand what you’re going through, it doesn’t mean they have to know every detail about everything. This is why you would see a therapist in the first place.
While generally speaking, these topics are best left off-limits in your conversations, there are exceptions. Suppose you have certain allergies or are prone to epileptic attacks. In that case, it’s best if people are aware so that they can take precautions. If you have difficulties paying your rent, it’s okay to reach out to family and ask for help. And if you suffer abuse from a partner, you should definitely seek help. Don’t stay silent in a situation where your health or safety might be at risk!
In some cases, getting the right help and the loving support of friends and family is way more important than keeping things private.
What do you think? Have you ever revealed something to someone that you ended up regretting later — whether you did it accidentally or on purpose? Or, has anybody ever made you feel uncomfortable by sharing too much information?
Also, is there anything else you would add to this list? Share your thoughts and comments below!
credit: brainy dose
