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Why Men are Choosing to Stay Single

by John Ocholi
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Love it when people ASSUME that getting married earlier in life will always last into old age and as a result that they will always have a companion and not ever feel lonely or unhappy.

A new generation of women who are choosing to either never get married or never marry again. A generation of men reaching middle age and walking out on their marriage while sometimes “trading up for a younger model”. A generation of men choosing to remain bachelors for life—fearing a divorce would leave them penniless and without access to kids, giving rise to the MGTOW or men going their own way movement.

An increase in homosexuality, trans-sexuality, and everything else in between. A generation of men and women who may want to get married someday but feel stuck due to social anxiety, unable to relate to the opposite sex, or even get the courage to ask anyone out. A generation of men who are not making as much money as needed and thus feel that they wouldn’t have much to offer a woman by way of financial security.

A generation of old people who are still married into their 60s absolutely lonely and miserable in their 30 to 50+ year marriage. Given all these conditions it’s shocking that there are still people out there who believe that marrying in the younger years will somehow guarantee everlasting happiness, fulfillment, and bond to their spouse well into their old age.

Life doesn’t have to be less fulfilling simply because they are single. There are literally TONS of things people can do to not feel “lonely”. Working, volunteering, traveling, attending social clubs, chess clubs, dancing, card games, etc. —the list is quite long and only shortened by the health status of the person. Not to mention that marriage is not necessarily “bliss” while being single is not necessarily “miserable and lonely”.

Pure clean love from the wife is a very pleasant feeling for any man. It makes him a wiser, stronger person. They are more sensible, confident, and energetic and live happily. Also, being in love is a very special feeling. An occasional infusion of Oxycontin, dopamine, and serotonin feels nice. THERE ARE A LOT of single baby boomers in their late 50′s and there will be a lot more. People who never got married, who are divorced. Life does not guarantee you a spouse into your old age, so if you are counting on someone else to make you “happy” or “less lonely”,

STOP!

Start getting used to doing things for yourself and know that life can be amazing even without a spouse. Some people that face depression in their old age do so because they suddenly find themselves alone after decades of counting on someone else to make them happy instead of finding fulfillment in work, activities, classes, spiritual development, and socializing with others. So when their spouse dies or leaves them they become emotionally lost-not knowing what to do, where to go or how to find happiness without a spouse by their side.

Finally, there are concerns about health issues in old age. Sometimes that is a valid excuse to hide from the world, oftentimes it is not. The more sedentary you are as you grow older, the bigger the health problems. This beautiful life is full of uncertainties that none can predict accurately. So, it is better to become a loving person from within, develop positivity, give your best to everything you do including relationships and never allow anything to affect your pleasantness/joyfulness.

A relationship is great and so, make the best out of it as long as it lasts. When the partner thinks otherwise, wish them all the best and move on. In this world, you can find – People who are married, have children and when they grow old, they are required to live alone for many valid reasons. People who never married but able to find a partner and live this life till old age happily without any commitments. People who are married, have children, live in a joint family, and keep suffering all the taunts and pressures as they grow old and become dependent.

One can list out many more categories but the fact is none can guess how this life will turn out to be as you grow old. So, it makes sense not to worry or get tensed, rather accept any status with the confidence you will give your best in all situations and hope for the best.


credit: SanQ4

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